In the words of Scott Robinson when he spoke to Charlene*, I am just “sick and tired” of the magazine editorials showing us the upcoming fashion trends for makeup. (He was just sick and tired of many things, nothing to do with makeup).
It’s the SAME EVERY YEAR.
Pretty pastels for spring; nautical-inspired for April/May; early summer is usually ‘poppy brights’, with late summer being animal print or ‘Indian Summer’ inspired; autumn is always about plum/olive/smoke, then bring out the bling for Christmas.
And then back to pastels for spring. Yeah yeah yeah.
Pastel lips look good on Sindy doll circa 1981. I know, I know, they’re not telling us to buy it. No one is forcing a credit card from our hands and marching us to the nearest Guerlain counter. But every bloody year. Fashion is dictated by the big fashion houses, I get it. But the problem is – by and large – the availability of what we want to wear is dictated by them. There was one year I was desperate to find a simple pair of navy sandals – could I find them anywhere? No, because it had been dictated the gold, tan and white were the trends. Retail buyers won’t buy if if they think it won’t sell, and the presumption is, we all want to be fashionable.
Well, lilac lipstick and mint green eyeshadow will never be fashion in my book. And it will never be classic. So I am going to buck all the trends. Black shadow and dark purple lipstick for spring, pastel brights for Christmas, no makeup at all in summer (because, who can be bothered?). And for that ‘in between’ nautical time that seems to pop up every year, I will take actual sailor inspiration from Popeye (not simply ‘team crisp Breton stripes with a sharp cherry lipstick’ – what sailor wears that?) and don a fake anchor tattoo on my forehead and a spinach coloured wig. Or should it be kale and ‘smashed avocado’ (no, too trendy).
Sod off with your pastels. I’m not having it.
* Scott and Charlene, for those who don’t know: